Learning

Recently, I started to read the book that will guide me through my research project for my M.Ed. degree. I've felt so overwhelmed with the everyday grind of life, that it's seemed impossible to even think about adding more stress to my days. Finally, I've been getting days off and am feeling a bit more ambitious.

After just reading the first chapter, I've become highly motivated, which is reflected in my ambition to write about it and share it with the world. I feel like this is my commitment to actually continuing my work on it, because it holds me accountable. Please, to those of you reading this, hold me accountable and remind me not to let certain aspects of life get in the way of others. Also, any feedback given is greatly welcome and appreciated. I'm always up for the compilation of ideas. It makes us stronger.

What I'm learning about myself is that I once was in a place that was completely interesting to me, but not at all my style. As I compare the quantitative work I was doing in my undergrad life to the qualitative work I am doing now in my graduate life, I see why I was so unhappy during that time. My brain prefers to pave it's own path. This applies not only to research, but to life in general. I come from a mother who would read a user manual twice before ever touching the object it was about. I am someone who will skip the manual all together, using what I can do on my own, and filling in the holes by skimming the manual only in the sections needed. Amazing that it can take so long to get to know yourself. I may be someone interested in the intricacies of science and nature, but I prefer to learn about it via experience.

The classical quantitative research method requires one to come up with a hypothesis first and then go through a detailed and structured process to disprove or prove the null hypothesis. It is very systematic and requires you to make predictions about what will happen before you have even experienced it. And then one must numerically and graphically pick it all apart and analyze why it did or did not meet one's expectations, never really knowing if their own judgment has gotten in the way the entire time.

This makes much less sense to me than does a qualitative approach. It really seems more honest to admit that you don't know what's going to happen before it has. This requires one to experience first, hypothesize second. There is no intense analysis of why things did not go one's way, simply a reasoning as to why it went the way it actually did. It is also honest in the sense that it blatantly admits that we, as humans, are subjective and to be objective is a forced trait.

On an unrelated note, I found that I was lucky to have made it back home from the north the last time. Apparently, cars don't do so well when they're so rusted underneath that the wheel is about to fall off at any moment. So much for thinking it was an alignment issue.

It's been quite a while, and I'm heading back up north in two days. In the meantime, there have been a lot of changes. I purchased a new vehicle, which I really do like quite a bit, and I said goodbye to my old one today. It was very sad to watch as they took away my little green Metro that I've had for 8 and a half years, who I had named Kermie. At least it will be doing some good. I donated my car to Goodwill in an effort to do something good for the holidays. It was the easiest choice, and obviously a bonus when you get a tax break as well.

Events like this do make one wonder how much they really value inanimate objects. But that topic is for another blog entry.